The Colour of Blue

I had intended writing about a blue mobile bank van today. Hence the title.  A piece about car paint colour codes being similar for RBS and Bank of Scotland and how could automotive paint sprayers tell the difference. But that didn’t work out since I have little knowledge of the subject. Seemingly CR Smith also have a blue fleet of vans also and folk sometimes confuse them with mobile bank vans.


Conversations such as “hello sir, we are here to replace your windows” and “can I help you with cancelling some of your direct debits” are seemingly commonplace in the shire with confusion all round.


However, not many people know this, but this gate is the escape route from my local respite care centre. My pal sends his mother in law there a few times each year and a good thing that is indeed! If the respite was not available he would in all probability have taken an axe to her sometime ago. I have even suggested such an action on at least three occasions.

In such circumstances I would completely understand his action since the lady in question is suffering from various dementia type illnesses and can be difficult to handle, if you get my drift. To my eternal shame I have suggested he either buy a gun or leave her out in the snow but I know that he is far too kind hearted do such a thing.

Just in case my own family send me to this place in years to come, I have today carefully mapped it and hidden a cache of escape equipment including some frozen Lorne sausages which I am particularly partial to. You never know when the need to make an escape will crop up and it is always best, I think, to plan well ahead.

Indeed a monk at a local Cistercian Abbey probably did exactly the same thing a few years ago and has never been traced. Some folk think he died in the adventure, but personally I think he may be living in Rio or somewhere equally exotic and making up for lost time.

I can’t, for obvious reasons, reveal where this gate is. However I can reveal that it is likely to be in Inverurie somewhere.


About Duncan Harley

Author, photographer and feature writer.
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